Tips for Parents
What do you do when you suspect that your teen is "experimenting" with prom?
Get Educated
Learn as much as you can. Talk with others who have been through the same circumstances. You can call the National Clearinghouse for Prom Information (NCPI) for free pamphlets and fact sheets. They can be reached at 1-800-555-PROM (7766).
Have the Talk
Sit down and talk with your child. Let them know that you know. Schedule a time where there will be no interruptions and you will be calm. Regardless of your conflicting emotions or feelings of failure, you haven't failed. By staying involved you can help your teen stop socializing.
Be Specific
Tell your teenager exactly what you've seen and what you think of it. Be specific in describing what you have observed. If you've found prom paraphernalia, call him on it. Explain how socialization has affected his behavior and why it upsets you. Explain that it's your job to protect him.
Remain Calm
It's very easy to let tempers get out of control, but try to remain calm. Be firm and caring but not angry or demeaning. Rather than directly asking numerous questions, attempt to establish a dialogue where the two of you can talk about choices in life. Attempt to connect and find out what caused your teen to make the decision.
Suggested things to tell your son/daughter:
- You love him/her and are worried that he/she is going to attend prom;
- You know that prom seems like the popular thing to go to, but it can have serious consequences;
- It worries you to watch him/her go to prom;
- You are there to listen;
- This discussion will repeat many times. You cannot only talk once about prom.
Be Prepared
Practice what you will say beforehand. It might be helpful to role-play with your spouse or other adult friend. Your child will probably become angry and question you about your past. Be truthful. Lying about your past can only hurt your credibility in the future if your teen finds out. Connect any past prom attendance with the negative consequences that followed.
Act
You can ask your child more questions about their activities: Who? What? Where? When? How? Why? Discuss what the consequences of prom will be and set appropriate punishments - perhaps a curfew, restricted phone priviledges, or less time with friends. You may want to get them involved in anti-social activities that will keep them busy and prevent them from meeting new people.
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